Following the fire, I spent an entire day in a haze.  I must have still been in shock.  But my trials were not over yet.  That night, I slept on the couch at my moms house.  Brian had spent the evening with Nate, so he was not there with me.  At about 3 in the morning on saturday, my dad came down to wake me.  He told me that my Grandpa had passed away.  In disbelief at the timing of such a shocking turn of events, I replied, "are you kidding me?"  How horrible a response, but I was in utter shock.  How could it be that Grandpa had gone?  He was the healthy one, the strong one.   The next morning, Melissa, Curtis, and I drove to Boise to be with Grandma for a short while, spent the night at our cousin's house, and came home, only to return the following tuesday for his funeral.  Over the weekend I managed to force the third of 3 heartbreaking events by putting Thor in a race on sunday afternoon, in which he bowed his tendon due to the rush in putting his shoes on.  On Tuesday, Brian and I and our kids drove to Boise for Grandpa's funeral.  It was heartbreaking to see him, but it was even more heartbreaking to see my grandma alone, though she was surrounded by her kids, she ached. 

Again I have failed to meet my goal and blog at least once a week.  I has been months! since I was on here.  So here is a brief recap of this year so far.  In march, Brian and I were about ready to add on to our house, we had the plans drawn up, had a septic permit purchased, and were ready to spend $2000 on a building permit when we spotted our old home (which we had purchased and sold before moving to Lewisville) on the market for short-sale.  We quickly put in and offer and got moving on the buying process.  We closed on our home in the last week of April and moved in the first week of May, right in the middle of finals I might add...  It was a hectic but exciting time.  The kids loved the new home and loved having room to stretch! play! and sleep! without bumping into one another.  Brian and I did a bit of work over the summer including putting in brand new carpet throughout the house.  On August 23rd, however, just as we were preparing to put a new kitchen in the house (and thank goodness we didn't)  our excitement was shattered.  While I was mowing the lawn and Brian was away at Home Depot, I spotted flames shooting up from inside my garage.  Eli and Alli were outside playing, when I went into panic.  I screamed at Eli to take Alli and run to Thor.  I ran to Don's house (my wonderful neighbor) hoping to get a fire extinguisher, but as I screamed frantically, pounding on the door I realized that Austin was not outside with Eli and Alli.  I did not know where he was.  I ran back through my front door and ran through the house screaming for Austin, but I could not find him.  It became certain to me that he must have been in the garage and started the fire, I ran as quickly as I could into the garage, but finding myself only a few feet in the door, screaming until my lungs became hoarse, and my throat raw, I ran back out.  I could not see or breath inside the garage, and I fell into a mental breakdown, believing that my son was in the garage burning to death, but I could not save him.  I had at some point gotten on the phone with 911 and was telling them that my house was on fire and I cannot find my son.  I yelled at Eli asking him if Austin was in the garage.  I was screaming.  He said no, but when I asked him several times where he was Eli said he did not know.  Finally, Eli yelled "He's in bed!"  With the slight hope that he might be I ran into my house and found Austin curled up and buried beneath his blankets, still asleep.  I swept him up and ran out of the house as smoke billowed into the dining room and living room and the flames began poring through into the house.  Once I reached Eli and Alli in the back yard I sat and held my children, in shock, while Eli cried and Austin and Alli watched confused.  My neighbor Tawnya had seen the flames and called 911 as well.  She saw us in the backyard and peered over, asking if we were all out of the house.  I do not know if I answered her.  Trying to avoid any explosion from the flames, I started to go through the back pasture, thinking that I could get over to Tawnya, but as I turned, 2 men jumped the fence by my house and came back to get us.  One of them was Dusty (a good friend from the sheriff's office) and the other Ryan (my cousin Kyla's husband).  Ryan had asked me several times if everyone was out of the house, and apparently I did not answer for several minutes due to shock.  But they took my kids and me to the front of the house where I called Brian for the second time.  I had called him sometime during my panic, I don't know when, but he was unable to understand much that I told him except that the house was on fire.  Brian got home within minutes, just after the fire department showed up, and we watched as our house burned, flames shooting to the sky.  The experience was unreal.  Ryan had also moved my car, I later found out, to save it from the flames, but my horse trailer was near the house, and the floor, wiring, and tires were destroyed.  Several of my trees were killed, as well as 4 or 5 of the neighbors.  It also melted the siding off the side of the Grover's home. 

My boys... they are such lovable little monsters

Dark hair... I needed a change :)

Finally taking a binki!!!

Eli fed Alli for the first time when she was 6 weeks old. He enjoyed it the first time, but shortly after it became a chore.

Smiles started early with this little one. Her first smiles (that cannot be chalked up as gas) were at about 4 weeks :) She just kinda started half smiling. By 8 weeks she was smiling for real :)

Alli and her tongue. It's always running

Seriously black eye. Though Brian tries to take credit... Austin fell into the corner of the bookshelf :( Poor bub

"I go sleep mom"

Austin sitting on Eli at the dinner table!!!